My love of the online space and the possibilities it can create was sparked when I decided to start a personal blog back in 2012. And when I started my business, I thought I would have allllll the time in the world for my lovely little blog! I was wrong…
Fortunately though, before I relegated it to a dusty corner of the internet, I wrote a post about the lessons I learned in my first year of business. And so many of them are still relevant today, regardless of where you are in your business journey!
One in particular has been front of mind lately, because I see my colleagues, clients, and heroes – some of whom have been in business for 10 years or more – bump up against it on the regular.
It is the one thing that is guaranteed to make or break your business: your mindset.
Ask any business owner and they will tell you, there is no greater personal development journey than starting and running a business. You will quickly learn your strengths, your unhelpful habits, and the things that are going to trip you up. It will test your patience, persistence, and resilience in ways that nothing else can. It will require you to pick yourself up and keep on going over and over again, when all you want to do is hide under the coffee table.
what does ‘mindset’ mean?
You might have heard the terms money mindset, growth mindset, or performance mindset and wondered what that means exactly. Your mindset is simply a set of beliefs and attitudes you hold about something. They might be based on facts, or might be stories your brain tells you based on your experiences. “Money is the root of all evil”, for example, might form part of your money mindset.
our brains are powerful tools
And they don’t always play nice! Our brains are built to help us make sense of our world and humans respond extremely well to story-telling. Put together, it means that our brains have become really good at telling us stories to help process our experiences.
The downside is though that these stories are not always kind, and they’re definitely not always true. But, because they come from inside our own heads, we believe them to be fact. (I bet I’m not the only one who can get myself really worked up over an imaginary conversation that the other person didn’t even know they were having with me 😅)
In business, this unhelpful narrative shows up as doubt, fear, and ridicule, triggering imposter syndrome and comparisonitis. It might tell you you’re an idiot, that you don’t know what you’re doing, that you can’t do the thing, or that people are laughing at you behind your back for even attempting something you’re so clearly unqualified for. So mean!
And, super fun, it will keep on trying that bullshit no matter what your level of success or how many runs you have on the board. In a recent podcast episode, Tina Tower (who is running a wildly successful business by any metric) described how this negative mindset reared its ugly head for her recently.
using that power for good
The good news is, it is possible to train your brain a bit to notice when it’s telling you stories, and redirect its attention to more positive and helpful narratives. Some things that I’ve found really helpful include:
Fact-check the story
When you notice the negative thoughts popping up, it’s ok to respond with “really though?” Who am I to even be running a business!? Well, you are, and you have been well enough that you can feed yourself and pay your bills. I have no authority to teach people about X. Except that you have 15 years’ experience with X and have achieved results for yourself and your clients. No cares what I have to say about this topic. Except people ask you about it ALL the time and implement your advice. So… I reckon none of that is really true.
Seek out evidence to the contrary
This builds on the above idea and adds tangible evidence to support the truth. Make it a habit to keep track of wins, results, and kind words you get from or for people around you. Next time your brain is trying to be a jerk, open up this file and look at the clear evidence that you are good at the thing.
Tell your own story
It is completely okay (and I recommend it!) to create your own stories that give you energy, focus, and confidence. This might look like finding affirmations that resonate (“It is safe for me to make a living coaching other people”) or writing your own scripts that re-affirms your special skills, experiences, and strengths. Repeat this to yourself regularly until it feels more natural to you than the negative stories.
Lean on your people
We all have a posse that supports us and wants to see us succeed – so tap into them when you need to be reminded of your greatness! Just this week I had a major imposter syndrome moment that had me saying “How does [amazing big name] even know who I am!?” and without hesitation my best mate texted back “because you’re amazing and you’re invested in the same online space”. I still don’t believe her, but it certainly helped stop that spiral!
Take the lesson, leave the rest
There will be times when you really do mess up or over-reach and maybe there’s a hint of truth in your internal monologue (things like “oops, that was a mistake” or “looks like I was wrong to take on that project”. NOT things like “good one idiot” or “I always make the worst decisions!” For them, revisit the steps above). In these cases, take some time to reflect on the question: what is there here for me to learn? It could be that you need to refine your process, work on enforcing your boundaries, or change up your service offerings. That stuff is useful and should be paid attention to. The rest is not – so leave it behind.
There are many things that will ebb and flow when it comes to your business, depending on what’s trending, what you need, or what stage of business you’re in. But the one thing that will remain constant is that you need your mindset on your side. So prioritise the time and energy you need to cultivate a powerful mindset that will support you to keep striving.
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